remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
