David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
