dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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