he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
