It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
