that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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