How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
