that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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