your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
