Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
