Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize
