oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
He has the fingertips of a God
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