East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
