no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
