On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Randomize
