Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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