My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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