There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
