I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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