If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
