my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
