The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
