I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
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