I wish I could teleport
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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