this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I could fuck to npr.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
