I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Randomize
