Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
