My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
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