Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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