Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Randomize
