the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
well, you know. whores of a feather.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
