is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Randomize
