Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
