Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Randomize
