xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I forgot how hot balto sounded
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
