Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Randomize
