I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
