Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Randomize
