Already got asked if we're dating
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
