So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Randomize
