You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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