have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Michael Bay diarrhea
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I think i got beer on your cat.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize
