I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
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