And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
