I've blown a few things in my day
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Randomize
