you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
