I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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