Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
