the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
