When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
