UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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