Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Randomize